Its been a while since my last blog, funny thing is i haven’t even been particularly busy, though i technically should be.
So on Monday the first set of essay questions for the psychology of ageing module was released. I didn’t even remember that they were going to be released until the early hours of tuesday night when i happened to click on the module link, thank god for that! The lecturer wanted us to prepare for Friday’s seminar session where we would discuss the questions, needless to say i actually had no clue how to tackle the question, the only preparation i did was go down to the library and take out the recommended books, i *did* attempt to read them… but it lasted about 5 minutes. The seminar was helpful in some ways, but i left the seminar still feeling clueless about the essay, i guess i’ll worry about it nearer the deadline, besides i have another essay to worry about at the moment.
YES i do indeed have to worry about this essay that’s due in for next next Thursday. Its like i constantly have to remind myself that this deadline is creeping up on me and that i really should start this damn essay. But its like i have zilch motivation. I really have no clue what is wrong with me, i just end up doing nothing all the time. I seriously need help i think. I mean i started the year thinking “okay, this is my final year in uni, i should keep on top of my work”. This lasted like 2 days, where i read the recommended chapters before the first lecture even began, i was so proud of myself, but since then i haven’t really done much at all. All this work is really depressing and the worrying thing is that the pressure doesn’t even seem to be getting to me. Its like the life has been sucked out of me or something. Its like i’m not even phased by anything, it’s like i don’t care about failing, though i obviously do care, but right now its like the furthest thing from my mind.
Actually i think that only time i actually did care was back in 6th form, i actually liked doing the work for psychology. I guess Brunel’s structure is just really boring me and not stimulating enough and i can’t really do anything about it. I didn’t even get my dissertation supervisor of choice which means i’m not doing my project on something that i’m truly interested and passionate about, but i really hope this wont get the better of me because god knows i need to do well with this dissertation. I guess you could call me a procrastinator, but the thing is, this feels like something beyond procrastination because procrastination is when you do other things instead of doing your work, this implies that you know you have work but don’t want to do it. But me, i know i have work, but its far from my mind and i’m just doing nothing. I really hope i get myself sorted out soon.
On a slightly happier yet still related note, it’s my reading week starting on Monday, so i came back home on Friday night. I wish i could stay home the whole week, but i have to be in to recruit infants for my dissertation on Thursday, so i have to head back on Tuesday night. Though i suppose this may be a good thing as i may actually do some work since i doubt i will get anything done at home. I miss being home, though i do come back quite often. Being home just helps to take my mind off certain things, even if the feeling is only for a short while.
Anyways i think i might actually attempt to do some reading for this essay since i actually have nothing better to do right now. I want to have done at least some work this weekend. *fingers crossed*.
Wish me luck!
♥ Veronica ~x