Seven Years

Seven years.

Seven years today, my grandad passed away. To think that he’s been gone for that long seems… unbelievable. Time has passed by so quickly. Seven years ago i was just 16 years old and was in my first year of sixth form (AS levels).

The years may have passed without much notice, but i still hold him in my heart. I really miss him. When i was younger, i used to always think about my whole family being present during my big life events, but life never turns out the way you imagined. It’s my graduation ceremony for my Masters degree in two days – yet another graduation which my grandad is not able to see.

Grandad, i miss you, and i’ll be thinking of you on Wednesday.

♥ Veronica ~x

Our last Christmas together, 2005.

Our last Christmas together, 2005.

Volunteering…

Here’s an update on Veronica’s oh-so-interesting life (!). What’s new? Well, first off, my life as a volunteer has basically grind to a halt.

In a previous post i mentioned that my CRB check for the NAS has come through, well the lady finally got back to me (2 days later than when she said she would). The day she emailed me, she asked if i could go to the group session that was on the next day – a little last minute, but hey i’m unemployed, so of course i’m free! She also told me the details about the training, but i can’t make it due to it clashing with a prior commitment, and the next volunteering session also clashed with my graduation celebration plans. So long story short, i’m not going to be able to start getting some experience of working with Autistic individuals until at least March, when i am back from my holiday.

This wouldn’t be much of a problem, however, when i turned up to volunteer for the children’s group last week i was told my CRB for them had expired. I technically wasn’t meant to be there, but since i turned up they let me go along that day. Finally managed to get hold of the woman who is in charge of CRBs for the council today and dropped by the Civic Centre to fill out the form to renew my CRB. But it will take at least 2 weeks to get back, by when i will be off on my holiday any way.

So now i’m officially not volunteering anywhere. Which means more time for me to do… absolutely nothing.

In other news, today i learned that ‘grinded’ is not actually a word haha. Oh and graduation is exactly one week from today!

Sorry it’s a boring, photo-less post today. But i’m probably the only person who reads this blog anyway XD

♥ Veronica ~x

Going Crazy

Yeah so i think i’m pretty much going crazy, its 4am and i’m staying up for no good reason. This happens every night, i just don’t get tired during the night anymore but i always suffer the consequences the next day.

I really need to break this cycle. New year’s resolution: to sleep earlier, but that has already been an epic fail D:

My friend suggested we should both make our resolutions to not procrastinate, but i don’t think that’s gonna work lol so i shall try and stick to sleeping earlier, though with the looming deadlines i don’t see that as plausible?  All-nighters might be the only option. Hmm…

On another note, started lectures again today. Such a long day! 9am-12pm then 2-6pm, that’s a total of 7 hours! The 4 hour slot was kinda a waste of time in my opinion, didn’t really learn much. The lecturer skipped most of his slides (about 120+ slides in total) and he kept going on about random irrelevant things that made us laugh out of nervousness/awkwardness? I didn’t know what he was talking about half the time, and when it was on-topic, he would murmur near the end of his sentences. He kept cracking jokes and using ‘topical/pop-cultural’ references, but still no one knew what the heck he was talking about.

Basically he could have condensed everything into a 2 hour lecture, maybe 3 hours if you add in breaks and waffling time. Its my final year and i’d actually like to use my time efficiently, even if i do spend most of it procrastinating.

Alas, i am promising myself that i will actually start work tomorrow. Let’s see if i keep that promise…

♥ Veronica ~x

Tied Together With A Smile

Tied together with a smile but i’m coming undone. That’s how i feel right now.

I hope you clocked the song reference.

My mood has been fluctuating all day, so many things have been running through my mind and i’ve been on the brink of tears about 5 times.

Its silly because something small and trivial was the trigger.

I was feeling low and the negative thoughts just accumulated.

I feel there’s no escape, no matter how hard i try to forget.

I’m awaiting the day they become distant memories. But that seems unlikely.

Am i to be plagued for life?

And i wish i had more time to spend at home, the thought of packing gives me dread.

I know the feeling will soon disperse once i get stuck into things, but the thoughts – they always return.

That’s a given.

But right now i’m hoping that dreamland will bring me some momentary sweet release when i finally drift there.

♥ Veronica ~x