The other day whilst on facebook chat, someone told me that if they didn’t know any better, they’d think i was trying to shut out the world . This was because i told them that i hardly use MSN any more since no one really uses it nowadays, and i dislike using facebook chat. My lack in using instant messaging never had such an agenda behind it, though i have to admit, i am becoming increasingly good at doing so. It’s become easier to shut out the world, and if i’m totally honest, i don’t mind it one bit.
Last year, i hated being alone and i hated the fact that those so-called friends had turned on me. I utterly hated that lonely feeling. But now, i revel in it. I’ve come to realise i like my alone time, even if it means i literally am alone. Some people are too intense and bring with them a lot of drama. It’s something i could definitely do without. I just need to be stripped back to the basics. I know who my friends are and i know which friends i can rely on and which ones i can talk with about anything. I also know the ones who are literally too self-absorbed and only ask you how you’re doing because they need a break from talking about themselves. Some friends are genuinely curious because they care, others are curious only so as to provide fodder for the grapevine.
Obviously i know i can’t keep going on like this, after all, humans are innately social creatures. I suppose i’m just hanging out with the wrong kinds of people, and so i need to get out there and meet new people. This is easier said than done though. But for now, i’m perfectly comfortable with the way things are. I don’t know how long i’ll feel like this but it’s okay, i’ll just battle one day at a time for now.
[ heh, it’s been a while since i blogged completely in english ]
♥ Veronica ~x