What killed the cat?

No it was not curiosity that killed the cat, but the consequences of the curiosity which gave the cat a slow and painful death. And no you are wrong to say that death was the consequence of it’s curiosity.

Recently the things i find out are simply things i don’t want to know. I’d simply be better off not knowing. I have enough [irrational] fears as it is and i really don’t need to pile on any other added stress, i think the stress of the possibility of failing final year is really enough, though i don’t think the fear of failure has quite struck me fully yet. And on second thought, very little of the information i found out is actually due to curiosity on my part but nonetheless the consequences have evoked unwanted feelings.

Recently I found out something about the reason behind a group of people’s actions through a mutual friend, and to be honest it was worse than what my mind had conjured up. At the very least the scenarios in my mind were clear-cut and made it easier to dislike them. The actual reason actually isn’t as bad as those that i made up in my mind, but  it’s worse than my imagination in the sense that it leaves everything very ambiguous. It leaves everything out in the open and a giant question mark floating above it all. It also makes the group seem so fickle, which really annoys me and also makes them look even more superficial than i previously thought.

I also found out that someone knows that i know about something, or more like i now know that they know that i know, though i have always suspected that they knew haha. This was just confirmed, and with an indirect (as it was done through a mutual friend) confrontation. It’s kinda awkward but not. I don’t know, its just made things weird – for me. But then again i didn’t find out about things the way that this person suspects i did, the way i found out for myself just confirmed things. People should never underestimate the power of the word of mouth.

Also my friend told me that their sibling knows about me even though my friend has never talked to their sibling about me, and the reason is because their sibling is friends with people who i sort-of know, which sorta creeps me out a bit since i don’t really know these people that well, so what the heck could they be saying about me? Yeah i think the irrational fear barometer just went shooting off the charts.

Yes everything in this post is rather cryptic. But if i gave you the link to my blog, chances are, i’ve probably already told you about the above situations so all you have to do is search your mind. If you have no clue as to what i’m talking about, it obviously means i didn’t choose to confide in you about it and that you could just be stalking my blog lol. On the other hand if you’re not just some randomer who has stumbled on here and you’re wondering why the heck you know nothing about this stuff, i obviously have my reasons for not telling you. You can choose to take offense if you wish to do so, but trust is to be earned and it takes a lot to earn my trust and for me to open up, or maybe i simply thought you couldn’t give me any advice on the situation this time round (and let’s be honest some of you aren’t so good at the advice part as you are at the seeking advice part lol).

♥ Veronica ~x

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