Stress Stress Stress

My final year dissertation is wearing me down. We literally have no data because we haven’t even looked at the videos and analyzed them yet, but we can’t do this until our supervisor shows us how to sync the two clips together and calculate the looking time. Of the 22 mothers we booked in, around 10 actually bothered to show up and only about 7 or 8 of the baby data is useable. To top it all off the snow just keeps ruining things because the mothers aren’t going to bring their children to the university in the snow. How we’re meant to get 30 babies and analyze the data in time for the draft deadline in less than a month’s time is beyond me.

The girl i’m working with is a passive aggressive person who isn’t pulling her weight, i feel like i’m doing everything and she’s just riding along. When she actually does something she makes a big fuss about it as if she’s done a lot, which in reality she hasn’t. She keeps bringing up that one time where she had to wake up extra early to deliver the reminder letter with the parking permit by hand to the mother that was coming in that day, as if she’s made a massive sacrifice. When in reality she should have picked up the permits the week before and send them off which would have saved her the trip. Oh and the mother didn’t even turn up in the end, presumably the mother had made other plans due to not receiving the letter beforehand. So really the whole purpose of the reminder letter was defeated. Oh and the other day she left early to go to the cinema with her friend, leaving me and the other guy to pick up the slack.

During the snow days i had to trek in the snow to the office to cancel and reschedule the appointments with the mother. It actually took me 3 hours to do one time, and i mean fair enough i’m the only one of us who lives on campus so i didn’t expect the other two to come all the way in, but it would have been nice for her to acknowledge this fact. The guy did acknowledge this and told me that the two of them would go to the 9am clinic to recruit the infants since i was by myself in the office for the past 2 weeks, and i went to the afternoon clinic by myself. The girl then has the audacity to imply that i hadn’t done anything to help and told me “try to get a few names, at least that would help us out”, and kept texting me to collect the parking permits on my way back. I asked why she couldn’t go pick them up so she wouldn’t have to wait for me to send off the letters, she replied that she was calling up the mothers.  I was gone for a total of 3 hours, i’m pretty sure it doesn’t take 3 hours to make 6 phone calls, thank god the guy came through and sorted everything out. I’m actually at my wits’ ends with this girl, i may end up killing her one day.

To top it all off, me and the guy were discussing the dissertation draft that’s due in next month and we concluded that we actually have no idea what our hypothesis is. We’re getting hardly any support from the supervisors, who expect us to just know everything and do everything by ourselves. But we’re helping THEM with THEIR research. I expected a bit more guidance. We’re basically clueless and have no idea what to do about the high drop-out rate of our participants. We also suspect that our supervisor expects us to carry on with the project after our deadlines. But i really don’t see this happening. Seriously good luck to them and whoever they manage to fool into helping out next year. My supervisor has failed to give me feedback on my dissertation proposal that i handed in back in september, so in essence i have no idea if what i’m doing is correct because i have had no feedback on what i’ve assumed the research to be about and the assumed direction of it.

I’m actually well and truly screwed.

On a slightly brighter note, it’s finally been announced when that cancelled seminar has been rescheduled for and the new essay deadline. Though right now its not realistic for me to preoccupy over it any further, i’ll just have to sort it out after i hand in my draft. I should have about 2 weeks to write it after the draft deadline and then another 2 weeks to put together the final dissertation after that.

I need some serious luck on my side if i’m going to get through this year alive.

Actually i need a miracle.

Let’s hope something comes to me in my sleep that will help me figure it all out.

♥ Veronica ~x

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